“Are you going to have another?”, asked a well-meaning family member, out of the blue. Another cup of coffee? Another what? It could have been anything, but I knew exactly what they meant. Another baby. The question that fills me with dread.
It seems like when your first child enters toddlerhood, there is a societal expectation, or assumption, that all mothers are yearning for the next one. For me, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Why assume there will be a next one? For many, one is enough.
After extreme prematurity, neonatal surgeries, a 3.5 month NICU stay, post natal anxiety, PTSD and a global pandemic, motherhood has well and truly consumed me, challenged me and changed me.
I feel like there is so much we still have to experience with Theo. He is a healthy and happy little boy ready to see the world. But it’s not just about Theo.
I am working hard on my own personal development and having further therapy for my trauma. I am healing and reconnecting with parts of old myself. I want to write a book! I am unapologetically making myself a priority again.
Having another baby is not a priority right now, and perhaps it never will be. All I know is that this little boy and his Daddy complete me and they are all I need.
Now that restrictions are slowly lifting, we are ready to start living our best life and making memories that go beyond the local playground, as a family of 3.
Female adult life isn’t all about having babies. There is so much more available to us now.
Please always be careful when asking people about their family plans. You don’t always know what they’ve been through, or are going through.
Have you ever been asked a similar question and how did you deal with it? I’d love to know.
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